when my love for you was blind
by joker to the thief
Summary: After high school. Puck and Rachel get set up on a blind date with each other. Five times.


The first time doesn't really count.

She is inclined to blame her very sweet, if somewhat dim, roommate. Lee Ann has made it her mission to "loosen her up" and apparently that entails a blind date with this "perfect" guy that's in one of her classes. Rachel's not entirely against the idea. It's been months since she's had any interaction with the opposite sex that doesn't involve school. It's been a whole year since Finn. Clearly, she's a little overdue.

Lee Ann preps her with a very flattering description of this mystery man, full of "OMG he's gorgeous" and "He's perfect for you" and "He loves music, too" and "He's smart" and "He's gorgeous; have I mentioned that yet?" Despite her misgivings, she finds herself excited for the date.

Until she walks into the Little Bar and is greeted by a very familiar strip of hair.

Could someone please tell her in what universe was Noah Puckerman the perfect blind date?

She's just happy that he hasn't managed to spot her because he's too busy guzzling beer and shouting expletives at the game (she wants to say...football?) being broadcast over the bar. She had almost forgotten that they were both enrolled in OSU, her mostly because it was the only college that offered her a full scholarship. She doesn't even know what course he's taking. Still, it was only a matter of time that they would meet again. She just didn't think it would be on a blind date.

Noah and her, they've never been friends in the strictest sense of the word. She had always felt that he was merely tolerating her, even during the time she was his best friend's girlfriend. If he wasn't outright ignoring her, he only ever spoke to her in monosyllables or with a sneer. She doesn't know what she did to earn that kind of treatment but she figured Glee club harmony (and her own peace of mind) would be much better served with her own avoidance of him. It was for the best, really. Who would want to spend time with someone who hated you?

Which meant that for this particular night, no force on Earth would get her to take the required 7.5 steps to join him in that booth. Nothing.

She takes one good look (he does look lovely in that blue shirt) and walks away.

Yes, she knows she's being unnecessarily rude but with the way he's been chatting up the blonde waitress with the *ahem* enhanced bust, she doesn't really think he would mind.

She spends the rest of the night swearing Lee Ann to secrecy and making her promise to make her amazing apple pie as payback for her gaffe.

-/-

The second time is, like, fucking awkward.

Getting set up on a date by your mother is bad enough; getting set up with your ex (of one week) because your crazy Jewish mother apparently has selective amnesia and forgot that you fucking know each other is hell of the worst kind. And he's not even supposed to believe in hell.

The fact that this is the same girl he's been trying to distance himself from for years (because hey, he's not that much of an asshole to go after his best friend's girl _twice_, no matter how much he wanted to) is just messed up in ways that he can't even begin to describe.

His mom has been freaky obsessed with his love life since he trashed Mrs. Klein's front yard around the same time he got pubes. Seriously, the woman's all about how the love of a good Jewish woman would save him.

F that.

Still, guess who's the schmuck having the weirdest fucking date with Rachel Berry at a wine and cheese mixer at the synagogue while Aviva Puckerman eavesdrops?

Yup, that would be _this_ schmuck.

The circumstances of this thing aside, he's actually having (wait for it) fun. You know, if he wasn't scared that his mom would call in Rabbi Schram and fucking marry them already. He can literally feel the woman's crazy all the way from the other end of the room, no lie.

Rachel is still a crazy midget motormouth, although college has dialed down the crazy from an 11 to a 10. Okay, maybe a 9. Course, he gets like only half of what she's saying because he gets distracted (by, you know…_her_). He finds out that she's 2 months away from graduating and basically 2 months away from leaving Ohio behind and finally moving to New York. She, on the other hand, is surprised to learn that he dropped out of OSU in his sophomore year to pursue his real passion.

Her face when she finds out that he's been in upstate New York for the past two years studying at the Culinary Institute of America...that shit is priceless.

At the end of the night, she wishes him well and so does he. He means it. The girl deserves every bit of success and happiness in the world, if only to throw it back in the faces of the loser bitches of Lima. He's pretty sure that they're never going to see each other again so he decides to give his mom a thrill by giving Rachel a short kiss on the lips before they leave.

Girl understands. She goes up on tiptoe to take a peek over his shoulder at his (possibly hyperventilating) mother. With a wink, she reports that the kiss seems to have done the trick, with the way his mother is going into raptures. A laugh and a hug later, Rachel is gone.

(So what if he didn't want to admit to her that the kiss wasn't just for his mom's benefit?)

-/-

The third time...well, they decide to just go with it.

She has just moved to New York and it is everything she's ever dreamed of and more. Still, she doesn't really know anyone. So when her male partner in advanced dance class offers to set her up with his boyfriend's roommate, she rolls her eyes but agrees to it anyway.

When her eyes meet Noah's as the waiter shows her to their table at the Yuca Bar…they cannot stop laughing.

(It's embarrassing. She's snorting so much, the hipster couple at the next table are looking at her like she needs to see an otolaryngologist.)

They take it as a sign. Hey, when the universe is forever throwing the two of you together, why fight it?

Before long, he is helping her paint her apartment, run her lines, understand baseball, and navigate the subway. She, in turn, helps pick out his new perfume, run interference with girls, learn that plaid is not a uniform, and serve as his unofficial new recipe guinea pig.

When she finally, _finally _gets a role in a promising new off-Broadway show, it is in his arms that she jumps into, flailing and crying tears of joy. The look in his eyes somehow ends up meaning more to her than her fathers' effusive congratulations and flowers.

When his mom calls, scarily calm, and tells him about a lump that the doctor had found on her breast, it is only when she is holding him that he actually breaks down. Even when the all-clear is given and he is allowed to breathe a sigh of relief, it is her tiny hand in his that keeps him grounded.

They are each other's last phone call at night.

And if every now and then, he has to control this insane tic he's developed (of, like, attacking her with his lips), he knows to stop himself. Rachel has become his best friend; he actually doesn't want to fuck it up. Talk about personal growth.

(And if it hurts to know that he'll never be more to her than that, he's had a lot of practice in hiding it.)

Two years pass by like this and if one or the other felt something a little more, nothing was ever said. Ignorance wasn't bliss but they'd learned to live with it.

Until the fourth time, which comes about through her new co-star and the sous chef at his new job. No matter what combination of meddlers managed to get them to this, it ends in a way entirely unexpected.

With a kiss that multiplied into two, then four and, finally, with her in his bed.

Turns out, in the normal context of their lives, it's easy enough to say that his smiles _didn't _make her heart soar or that a simple touch _didn't _set his whole body on fire. On an actual date, among stars and candlelight, it's surprisingly difficult.

Apparently, pretending for one more night was just too much to ask.

He wakes up to find himself alone (except for a _Sorry _scribbled on a Post-it stuck to his pillow). _2_ weeks later, Rachel is still avoiding him. She's dodging his calls, his texts, his IMs, his emails. Fucking digital age. What's the use of all the technology bullshit if she still won't fucking talk to him?

It takes her those two weeks to realize that she has fallen in love with him. Logically, she knows they need to talk. But the part of her that's still that 16 year-old girl in Ohio doesn't want to hear what he has to say if it's just going to be a variation of "That was a fun endeavor but I think we should retain our friendship instead". This is Puck, manwhore-cougar-chaser-hated-her-for-so-many-years-Puck. No matter that this is also her best friend Noah. Even worse, because she thinks her heart won't be able to take it coming from him. She's confused and scared and completely blindsided. So when her agent calls and tells her about an impromptu audition for a musical TV show all the way in Los Angeles, she says yes without another thought.

She gets the part and decides to stay in LA.

(He didn't think that one night also meant goodbye.)

-/-

The fifth time goes something like this.

It's been 5 months and she has gotten used to living in LA. Of course, once in a while she misses New York something fierce. It's understandable; New York had been her dream and her spiritual home since she can remember. She wants to tell herself it's the city itself she misses, not the man she left behind. And if the ache in the general direction of her heart seems a little too intense to be attributed to homesickness...well, her lying skills are working overtime now.

It's good that she has work and friends to distract her. The show is a surprise hit and has been picked up for a second season even before the 1st episode finished airing. And as for friends, it is serendipitous that Finn and Santana are living in LA too. Finn makes a living as a writer for some Disney show and Santana is a wedding planner (_Bridezillas better back down, bitches!_). They live in a lovely little house in Hancock Park and Rachel has dinner at their house more weekends than she can think of. She doesn't think she could have survived the first few painful months without friends like these.

But when Santana casually tells her to "Stop moping like a pathetic loser" and "Wouldn't you know, there's a guy that I'd love to set you up with", Rachel is admittedly hesitant. First, Santana is in the wedding industry; have you seen what kind of men populate that section of society? They're either (a) gay or, (b) about to get married, neither of which particularly appeal to her. And second? Well, the heart that's still in love with a certain man refuses to have any part of it.

But Santana Hudson didn't become one of the top celebrity wedding planners if she didn't know how to make things happen. Which is how Rachel finds herself dressed in a cute little Zac Posen at Bastide, nervously waiting for the guy to show up. If she has spent the last 10 minutes silently cataloguing the nearest exits in case of extreme disaster, it's only because she's always been the type of girl to be prepared.

She doesn't notice him until he's at the table, looking dashing and delicious and _ohmygodhe'sactuallyhere_.

"You're my blind date?" she says like a complete idiot and not the trained actress that she is.

He offers her his hand and gives her a sardonic smirk. "Hi, I'm Noah Puckerman. Nice to meet you."

In her confused state, she doesn't realize that she has actually taken his hand to shake it until the electric jolt of his skin against hers wakes her up. "This doesn't make sense!" she bursts out. "Santana knows...I mean, how is this a blind..._what are you even doing here_?"

He quirks his eyebrow at her but doesn't say a word. Instead, he takes his time settling in his seat, arranging the table napkin on his lap and taking a sip of water. She is just about ready to strangle him for prolonging her torture when he finally speaks. "Yeah, I might've set this up and bribed Satana."

"Why are you here?"

"Why are _you _here?" he shoots back.

She stumbles slightly over her words. "I-I'm…I was offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I took it. Simple as that."

"Bullshit," he says crisply.

"Noah!" she admonishes, as if she hasn't heard worse things to come out of his mouth. She takes a deep breath. "I know you're angry but—"

"You left with just a fucking Post-it!"

"I'm sorry!"

He rakes a hand through short cropped hair in frustration. "Do you know how much I wish I could just hate you?"

She closes her eyes in embarrassment. "Noah, that night—"

"It didn't mean anything."

Suddenly opening her eyes in shock, she cannot stop the involuntary pooling of tears at the thought that he flew 2,000 miles just to break her heart.

"It didn't mean anything," he repeats. "Because it meant _everything_."

Her eyes grow wider as he continues talking. "You wanna know what I'm doing here in La-la Land? This is me making a 'grand gesture' and telling you that I've been ass over tits in love with you since fucking _forever_ and you're an idiot if you haven't realized that yet. And it wasn't a mistake and I don't want to be _just _your friend and I don't care how long it fucking takes but I'm going to make you realize that you're in love with me, too. Do you hear me, Rachel Berry?"

"Oh, I hear you," she says with her heart in her eyes. "Although I happen to think it would be a profound waste of time."

"What the fuck, Rach?" he grits out. "That's like a shitty—"

Without warning, she plops herself on his lap and frames her face with her hands. "This is the part where you stop talking," she says before she kisses him.

(She only pulls away to tell him something very important: "And in case you need me to state the obvious, I love you, too.)

-/-

It's Emmy night and she is so excited that she's about to burst out of her shiny, buffed, airbrushed skin. People are actually shouting her name in excitement, not derision, and a skinny interviewer from E! is beckoning from down the red carpet. She grips her escort's arms just a little bit tighter as she walks on.

She is overwhelmingly gracious when interviewer woman congratulates her on her nomination and speculates on the odds of her show winning big. Rachel answers her questions with her trademark blinding smile in place. When the personal questions start coming, she is prepared. Any good starlet worth her salt knows how to draw the line between private and public life where it needs to be drawn.

So when she is asked about how she met her husband, she pauses a little and looks up at Noah's warm gaze. They share a private smile.

"Interestingly enough, it all started on a blind date."

And with a last smile towards the cameras, they walk away hand in hand.

(Really, the rest of the world doesn't need to know the whole story.)


End file.
